The Change Process: Uncomfortable Yet Necessary
Jessica Miller-Merrell | Business, Life| By
The Change Process: Uncomfortable Yet Necessary
Uncomfortable yet necessary. That’s the underlying thought process and mission behind Blogging4Jobs. Rayanne and I share content that sometimes makes you uncomfortable, and that’s okay. You may not know it but it makes us uncomfortable too. In fact, I want you to get mad, angry, upset, inspired, or passionate when you read what we have to say. It’s part of the change process. Things here on the site offer insights into leadership, technology, and the human capital management industry. Sometimes that’s HR, Recruiting, and Social Media, but it’s often personal stories shared with an underlying business lesson. The point is that change behind the uncomfortableness is never easy. It’s riddled with anxiety, mistakes, difficulty, and sometimes pain.
Uncomfortable yet Necessary: Weight Issues
That’s a lot how I’ve been feeling lately, mostly the pain and anxiety, but also relief, confidence, freedom and clarity. In the nearly five years that I’ve been blogging here at Blogging4Jobs, I’ve never once blogged about my weight. I just don’t talk about it. Because if I don’t it’s a non-issue. I muddle through. I blog and plow through with a determined or smiling face and sometimes they are one in the same.
But in the back of my mind and at the end of the day, I wonder if I didn’t get that client or speaking gig because of my weight issues. It’s not just about the clients but more about my self-esteem coupled with my ability to change my own habits while I go around preaching to companies, recruiters, and HR professionals that they should adapt, adjust, and embrace change when it comes to social media and technology at work. So instead I choose to blog here about being a domestic abuse survivor or being a teenage shoplifter when avoiding the one personal challenge I have that is staring me in the face: weight issues.
“Uncomfortable yet necessary.”
Making Life Changes
In early December I committed to doing yoga 5 times a week. Working with a private instructor, I have the entire room to myself. Some of this reason stems behind the fact that I have a rather crazy schedule, but it’s also because I’m embarrassed and I also need the motivation. I started slowly at first. It was uncomfortable. I was weak, and I also don’t like looking at myself in full length mirrors. It’s something in most cases I try to avoid. I don’t need to be reminded that I have a big butt or protruding gut when I’m about to go on stage for a keynote speech, but it’s something I can’t avoid. Afterall, Spanx can’t fix everything.
Uncomfortableness & Yoga Poses
Then a couple weeks ago I held this very engaged yoga strength pose for 15 full seconds. It’s called the Dolphin Arm Plank. Essentially, I’m holding myself up in push up stance except that my hands and forearms look like they are in prayer. The forearms are holding up my entire body with a lot of help from my abs. Killer stuff. So I celebrated my success after completing the pose only for a moment until Mandy, my instructor moves me to the next killer yoga pose, the Side Plank all the while I keep thinking to myself, “Uncomfortable yet necessary. Uncomfortable yet necessary.”
I’m nine weeks into my journey, committing to the change process that is uncomfortable yet necessary. I want to feel better, have more energy, and look healthier. I can tell you that while the beginning mission was to lose weight, the journey to get there is changing my own perspective. It’s no longer about the weight. It’s about making life changes and opening myself up to all kinds of change even the unexpected ones. And so communicating the change is key. It helps solidify the change which is why I’ve chosen to blog about this today.
The Uncomfortable yet Necessary Change Process
Tower’s Watson’s 2011-2012 ROI of Change Management and Communication study supports my belief that change is hard but that effective communication eases the transition process. Companies highly effective at both communication and change management are 2.5 times as likely to outperform their peers as companies that are not highly effective in either area. You have to walk the talk. Communicate the change and be committed to it and together the uncomfortableness is shared.
And so that’s what I’ve chosen to do today. Share with you my journey, my success, and my vulnerability. What types of changes have you personally or your organization have recently made? What learnings can you share about that change and the growth you gained along the way?
Tim Boileau, Ph.D. says
Thanks for having the courage to share your own insecurities so that others could gain from your experiences.
Jessica Miller-Merrell says
Thank you for the support and comment here Tim. I feel super special that a Ph.D took the time to make a comment. I’m smarter for it. 🙂
Courage is an understatement.
One of the reasons I love writing here, partnering with you, is because of the honest, open, no pretense relationship we have. Never have I felt more comfortable telling all – not hiding in a confessional or behind closed doors to share painful, shameful stories.
More are to come as our journey continues.
I am always inspired by what you do, by what we do and truthfully, it has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. It has been through this open, honest forum that I have had the courage to be a true friend – having endured painful, past friendships. And also, to take a risk on love and fillet myself, in order to reach the state of “uncomfortable yet necessary” vulnerability that allows you to really – truly – love another, completely.
Thanks for letting me stand beside you on your podium, soapbox, rooftop and yell. It isn’t easy – ever – but it is, and will continue to be, most assuredly worth it!
Jessica Miller-Merrell says
There is no greater compliment, and I only hope that this lovefest and relationship continues. I remember walking home from my event at SXSW last year with you and later having thought that this was one of the best and most open conversations I had ever had anyone in the space in my life. It’s nice to finally have friends I can count on.
Mandy, my yoga instructor unintentionally led me to write this. We were talking about transformations and how much I would be willing to share with others. It was then I realized that I had never really blogged much about my weight issues.
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