Special Thank You to Those That Rely on Charm &Good Looks
Jessica Miller-Merrell | Business| By
Thank you to the hard sellers, posers, underqualified, over-enthusiastic, and those that rely solely on their charm and good looks. Thank you for the bottom of my heart. You’re lack of dedication and preparation is what has helped me catapult my business. Your lack of seriousness has allowed me amazing opportunities and a chance to rise above. Your over-aggressive methods and scare tactics have helped clients determine what they don’t want and taught them to ask the right questions.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Not sure where I’m going with this?
As a job seeker or business person who is in the business of selling yourself or your company, knowledge is a key part of preparing for battle in every situation. By preparing for an interview or a business meeting, you are putting your best foot forward, collecting your thoughts, and developing your game plan and strategy. And part of any effective strategy involves research by online channels like a company’s website as well as offline channels and your personal network. Your personal network can tell you what the company’s about page cannot–local history, company culture, environment, and information about leadership.
In business, there are those that rely solely on their enthusiasm, fancy titles (social media experts), and aggressive behaviors to get their foot in the door. For some this proves to be an effective method, however, I choose to rely on experience and providing value. While my sales cycle may be slower, the idea is that my reputation can proceed me while also creating a solid relationship foundation with the long-term future of my business in mind.
While I understand and empathize for people in life situations who are out of work or are trying to establish a business (like myself), I feel little sympathy for persons who do not take the time to research, develop a strategy for battle, or use methods in bad faith. In these economic times, most people cannot rely strictly on their charm, good looks, or charisma to get the job done. And if they do, it makes setting myself apart that much easier.
So continue doing what you do. Sell your snake oil and make promises you can’t keep. Go for the hard sell and avoid me when I walk into the room. Because without you, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Lance Haun says
I’m just glad that I have the knowledge and the charm and good looks…
Margo Rose says
Thank you Jessica for linking back to my site. You just increased my google analytics. Nice job. I think it’s time to stop reading your own press clippings. I admire your work I purchased your book. In fact, I’ve promoted your book in my presentations. I’ve never had issue with you.
My ribbing on Animal is in good fun. When we do disagree, we do so in good spirit. This is your blog. You can say what you want. On my blog, I can say what I want. If you choose to defame my character on your blog, I’d just say, “Jessica is jealous of me.” Why else would I be on her negative radar? Me thinks she protests too much. Otherwise, why would she even care enough to write about it.
Am I a poser? I would argue NO. My following is loyal. I have an advanced degree in Human Resource Development, and more than 25 years of sound business experience. The community I developed for job seekers is has been replicated in 5 countries. It’s only 7 months old. It’s still moderately small, but it is having a positive impact on the lives of job seekers. I am a candidate advocate. Not a recruiter; however, I respect and admire good recruiters.
I care a lot about the vulnerability of job seekers. I get irate when people pick on them, hence, the posts I write about MEAN people saying MEAN things (yourself included).
I’m sorry if you feel I attacked you personally. I was merely referencing the blog post you wrote about the job seeker who you felt was treated badly on the Animal Recruiting Show. My point is that regardless of our position–entrepreneur, job seeker, business person, or consult we must all prepare ourselves the best way we know how. That job seeker should have done their due diligence and listened to past shows.
In no part of the blog post did I mention you directly. I only linked to your post as an example of a job seeker.
The post was not to call anyone out in a negative way just to suggest that we are all responsible for our own auctions. You and I are really in no way competition to one another.
Bryan Wempen says
First, I completely agree with Jess’s comments for those who are not really fully vested in doing what we do. Second, I re-read everything relative to Jess’s post a couple of times to figure out how @HRMargo could of possibly had taken this as a personal attack. NO CLUE how that bridge was made and again what is your desire to make something out of nothing? The desire to be confrontational must be on your radar as it happens again and again. If this is just part of your getting people following you, then so be it but for “me” your credibility takes another hit. Lastly, my question to you is: do you want to be part of a community or not?
@Margo – I read through Jessica’s blog and her link to your site. Knowing both of you – I never took her linking to your site as anything directed at you personally, least of all as an attack. Perhaps she didn’t offer up an explanation as to WHY she linked to your site – but IMO, it was very evident in reading your blog post & subsequent comments, that she was referring to the job seeker who didn’t prepare as yet another example to enforce the point of her post.
I do, however, have to point out that I see major irony in your post being written as a boycot of an industry peer within our HR/Recruiter community – for you to call Jess out on something that doesn’t appear was even directed to you. I have to wonder if perhaps you know your post stirred some people up and you might be on the defensive and prepared to attack back?
Of course we all have our own opinions, but we invite the opinions and comments of others when we take the opportunity to write a controversial blog post. I don’t think Jessica meant any ill will towards you and it’s obvious she’s a reader of your blog and subsequent supporter of your efforts.
As a candidate advocate – you also know that we are also all very visible and we don’t do ourselves or the candidates we are trying to support by disparaging and tearing each other down, even if in defense of said candidate. We are all professionals and we should make sure that we don’t forget that when freely expressing our opinions online. Reminds of a previous post Jess wrote comparing the point that like diamonds, comments, are forever when they are online, indexed and served back up later.
Margo Rose says
Jessica: Thank you for your explanation. Clearly I misunderstood your intentions. With a title that include the words snake oil, and people who try to slide by on good looks and charm, I was startled by your post to say the least. I agreed with your blog comments on my post. In my post, I point out that point, and said that I love Animal dearly, because I do. Bryan, I understand how you might feel that way. I have nothing but good things to say about you, regardless of how you feel about me. Carrie, I understand where you are coming from, and respect your opinion.
I think we all have to write what we think on our blogs. My blog is entitled HR Margo. I claim my opinions as editorial in nature. I have never said anything negative about you Jessica. In fact, I mention you book, and contribution to the HR community when ever I give a presentation. Your contribution to the social media community is incredible. Your leadership in social media is to be lauded.
My personality is an acquired taste, it is not for everyone. I stand by what I say in my blog, and when I am wrong, I promptly admit it, as I did in the next day’s post. I heartily agree that job seekers should do their research and prepare for every public show in which they choose to participate.
Do I sometimes make people angry Bryan, yes admittedly I do. That is primarily because I speak my mind, and disagree when I don’t agree. I don’t do this to engage new followers. Like my friend, Animal I can be argumentative, and outspoken. However; it is undeniable that my heart is in the right place when it comes to helping job seekers. That is, and will continue to be my passion for the rest of my life.
If I misunderstood, I regret that Jessica. If my credibility takes a hit because of what I write, then so be it. I am not afraid to say what is in my heart. That’s just my style. I believe in free speech on people’s blogs. Whether or not people agree with me is an expression of their free speech which is why I accept comments on my blog.
I’d like to thank you for helping me to understand your intentions Jessica.
HR Margo Rose
Craig Fisher says
So much drama! I’m now going to hold my breath until you quit bagging on each other. Where’s my f***ing latte?
Trish McFarlane says
I think it’s unfortunate that lately it seems a person cannot write a blog post or say something in public that doesn’t get jumped on. Jessica, I didn’t take your post as one that referenced anyone in particular. In fact, I liked that you were so generic in thanking those who make it easier for you to show your value. It’s no different in the workplace.
I’m with Craig in hoping that the drama stops and that you’ll get more comments from people who value the post as it was intended. IMHO
Charee Klimek says
I’m going to say a few things that will probably make some of you want to back-hand me but you know what, don’t care.
Enough is enough!
There’s so much in-fighting going on within what once used to be a close-knit, insanely supportive, social HR Community.
I don’t know if what’s happening is due to some that once were peers, colleagues, friends, mentors, etc. are now competing? If there are hidden agendas, people are getting burned out, or if it’s the nature of this social island and the black smoke is killing everyone.
One thing’s for sure, the community’s evolved and the tribes have formed. Most are positive with a “make new friends, keep the old” mentality. Then there are others that I’m starting to think are pulling the wool over the eyes of the innocent and that’s a shame.
So to try & get to the point of your post Jessica, yes, they do make someone like you all the more valuable.
Now back to my point: regardless of who/what/where/how all this started, the behaviors of a few are starting to bring out the worst in all of us and it’s really sad to see.
Remember when there were shared goals to achieve, mountains to climb and people who helped each other genuinely? The space was new, everyone was experimenting, no one was an expert except for *maybe* 2-3 people who were here 24/7, 365 and became experts because of it.
I’m probably just being nostalgic because people go their separate ways all the time, it’s life.
Anyone that’s succeeding, I wish them the best. If not, I hope the best comes. If you’re dishing snake oil, it will bite you in the @$$ soon enough. Everything eventually comes back around.
I just hope this community can get through whatever phase it’s going through and get back to making the difference it was trying to make and not allow it to be derailed by ego’s, arguments and behavior that will take rip it to apart.
There. I’ve been wanting to get that one off my chest for a while now.
Hope you don’t mind me using this conversation as the time and place for it Jessica.
Congratulations on your success. You’ve worked hard to earn it.
Thanks Charee. I welcome your comments. I agree that some bad behaviors are creeping up especially as we begin to navigate this new world. I think in general the social media HR community is full of extremely competitive extroverts that found a way to speak and be heard in a new and different way. Because of this, we don’t always play nice.
Thank you muchly!
Rich DeMatteo says
I agree with the majority here. I read the post and it wasn’t until the comments section that I for once even questioned it being directed at someone specifically.
Sarah White says
I love this post and agree 100%.
That is all.
Charee Klimek says
And at the root is human behavior. Something that can’t even begin to evolve with the pace of technology. Even w/out technology if you look at any newly formed/forming culture or social ecosystem, the same or similar series of events plays out over time. Groups of people with similar personality types, attitudes, goals, whatever it might be form sub-groups or sub-cultures and it’s only a matter of time before things get territorial.
As peacekeeper and an optimist, it’s disappointing to see negativity seep into any culture, industry or society but the realist knows it’s going to happen.
It’s how the sub-groups react to the actions & behaviors of others that will eventually make or break the whole…does that make sense? ……..Getting sleepy.
I just think it’s disheartening to see a community that’s come so far and worked so hard to allow itself to begin to turn against one another.
Adult-life may resemble or mirror high school from time to time, but I’d like to think the majority have gained enough emotional intelligence over the years to show, at the very least, respect and maintain a little integrity for themselves and others.
Greed put us in the situation of joblessness you mentioned. Probably something that would behoove us all to remember.
Lance Haun says
Hey, I thought we were talking about my charm and good looks?
To Charee’s point, I think this is an issue in any emerging field. At first, it may be a fun thing to discover. And when nobody is making a dime off of it, it is easy to put aside conflicts.
When money is on the table, reputation is at stake and pressure is applied though, things like this happen.
I don’t think it is a bad thing either (in a broad sense of course). And it’s happened in recruiting, sales, marketing, IT… you name the industry, job or area and it has happened there. I’m assuming once the economy improves, many of these people are going to go back to doing what they do best. That’s where they’ll make better money at least.
I wonder what the next year holds?
Agreed. It’s exciting and and super competitive at the same time. I’m also very interested to see what the next year has in store for all of us.
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