There are few things that are as important to me as my family and friends, my own personal development is one of them. I take pride in who I am and sometimes (insert the waving finger from my husband here) I have a problem saying no. I try to be everything to everybody, nurse, friend, coach, personal shopper etc. you get the idea. I needed to figure out what is really important to me!

I am my own worst critic, I know that. I forget sometimes but, I know it. Recently, I felt myself not meeting my own personal expectations. My house was a mess, I was stressed out at work and I am pretty sure I was very crabby. I was getting so wrapped up in the details, I couldn’t move, I was stuck. I was a perfectionist getting nothing done. By the guidance of many of my mentors I sat down and had a serious conversation with myself. What do I want? What do I need to get there? How am I going to get there?

I thought long about me, how I work best, how I can be a better friend, and when am I doing my personal best. I made an old school pros and cons list even! I began to think about how much I love the thrill of a deadline, being held accountable and having goals. I know this because I had a boss who provided me with a coach for a whole year when I first started working for her (what a gift!). Someone to hold me accountable that really didn’t know me but, knew what I wanted to do. It wasn’t just lip service then!

In the end I realized I need to have someone to hold me accountable not only in my career but in my personal life. I need an unbiased opinion to tell me when to STEP UP or take a chill pill. My husband is convinced he can be this person, he cannot. He’s my best friend don’t get me wrong but, he also doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. He also doesn’t understand what I do for a living. I needed to hire my own coach.

So I did! I am now working with a personal business coach twice a month. To hold my feet to the fire with realistic goals, expectations and accountability. In your professional and personal lives you can’t always expect others to hold you accountable. If you want to make someone thing happen, take action!

Yeah, I know my mother in-law is telling all of her friends I hired a life coach. Its ok, it’s important to know who you are. How do you tick? When you need to challenge yourself to rise to the occasion, however you do that is your path no one else’s.

Finding the perfect life coach

I have had the great fortune of having friends, mentors and family members who give me tough love. Tough love is just that, tough! It hurts, it stings, there is nothing fun about it but, as long as you learn from it and move forward, it doesn’t leave a mark. It’s always ok to ask for help!

As HR practitioners you may have an employee coming up to you struggling with a new assignment. Instead of giving the employee keys to the kingdom find another employee who has excelled in that area and set them up to help mentor them. This will not only build different leadership qualities for that individual, but it will also give this new employee someone to look up to. It’s all about building company culture one person at a time. Hiring a life coach doesn’t have to just be for personal use, but even finding a mentor at work can serve as your professional life coach.

Jen Ray Fun Fact: The first time I saw Steven Tyler of Aerosmith in concert I passed out cold 20 seconds into the first song!