A Change Will Do You Good
My life and work have changed over the last few years – mostly because I have learned to balance life and work – not an easy task. I have rested, actually taken vacations. And I have found value in that rest and what I call moments in the quiet.
To wake to the sound of water lapping along the shore, instead of a vicious alarm. To wake to the light of the sun, instead of at O-dark Thirty. To woke to the sounds of nature: roosters crowing, coconuts falling or children laughing in the surf, instead of leaf blowers or fighting neighbors. No clocks – period. As a matter of fact, most mornings I refused to even look at a clock. Sometimes, I woke at 6am, sometimes later.
Life and Work
The demands of daily work, a necessary job, the pressures of deadlines and laundry, the anxiety of an empty refrigerator or the dread of school meetings slipped away – out of sight, out of mind. I have even taken time off from writing – amazingly. Though, I typically make notes and take pictures but letting go – for a while – of a challenging routine that I have adhered to for many years melted pent-up anxiety away. And I took a risky chance. I decided I would let the habit of wearing make-up rest every time I take time off. I have gone two plus weeks away from make-up brushes and powders, other than a tinted lipstick or an SPF lip balm. That first naked-face day? Really strange. I constantly felt like something was missing. But by Day Two, I was digging it and I never once missed it again. It was freeing. I have never worn a whole lot of makeup anyway, but I did always wear it.
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And now – in my real world, I dread wearing makeup. I now wear a little mascara on my top lashes, but that is about it. Here’s the thing, that part of my learned rest and relaxation stays with me. Morning routines are easier and quicker. I am happier in the mornings and I can’t really explain why. It may have something to do with the after effects of an actual break, a real break from real life. But I like it, one more chink in the chain of insanity. This may seem unimportant to men and even some women. All I can tell you is that I have an unfamiliar sense of freedom and a newness in my life; my life can be sane and that allows me to remember the past breaks of infusing peace.
Your Anchor or Wall
We all have an anchor that keeps us tied close – perhaps safe – in the dark depths of a crazy, sometimes angry sea. You may even have several anchors, I certainly did. An anchor represents stability and/or immobility. What if that stringent immobility is what is keeping you from reaching your true potential? What if it keeps you from getting the rest you need? Of feeling the love you deserve? Of getting to know the most important people in your life better? And we sometimes confuse anchors with walls. We should stay figuratively closer to our homes, family, and friends, and the ties that keep us there. Often, we build walls, thinking they will keep us close. Too often, we build those walls on the wrong side, they end up separating us from those we love or want to love.
A New Wind
I am certain that I am done building walls. I am certain that the peace and rest I have experienced will continue to change me, mold me into the better person I want and need to become. We so often sit anchored to our pasts or to our desks, when all we really need sometimes is a new wind blowing across the bow or to enjoy the view from the other side of the boat or even to simply look up and see the view. I do now. And I will tomorrow, my quest to mainline sanity will be lifelong.
by Rayanne Thorn