I Made You. We Made You.
| By Jessica Miller-Merrell | Life, Work
I heard those words recently and was blown away. I listened in as someone I considered a friend told a professional colleague, “I taught Jessica everything she knows. I made her.” I stopped in my tracks and more accurately was “made” angry.
I Made You. We Made You. I Call Bullshit.
I have a problem with conversations or blanket statements like this. My personal and professional life has led me down this particular business path I am now. While there are certainly a number of individuals who influenced me along this journey with many lifting me up and supporting me along the way, I can’t think of one person “making me” other than my spouse or my parents who actually did. This man, my husband has been supporting me in the decision to start a blog and pursue my dreams as an entrepreneur since we first met 6 years ago.
It was a crowded event in a bar, and for all intents and purposes I didn’t want to make a scene especially since I had a few drinks and am looser with the lips. And until a couple weeks ago, I had filed that memory away but was reminded when I heard someone else say the exact thing about another friend, and I wondered . . .
Yes, there are those individuals who have been critical in this journey in life as well as business, but a statement like that is selfish and self-serving. I believe that we should be lifting people up, supporting our peers, and if someone succeeds we should be proud because they will lift you up in return.
Now, I may be a glass half full kind of girl, but this is my philosophy. I want to help real, authentic, and smart people who are fun and interesting too. It’s not only because I’m in a positon to do so but opportunities to help others offer a certain amount of leverage helping someone of influence.
My philosophy is to focus on those first with no real strategy or agenda to help myself. I can save that favor for another time. People are often surprised, that I want to get to know them first actually help them, learn their story first before calling in my own favor.
We Made You Now Available in Music Video
So no, thanks but you did not make me, but I thank you. Your one small sentence overheard in a bar with a delicious hot totty in my hand changed my life. It opened my eyes, and for that you make me grateful. So I guess make me in a way you did. While you are at it enjoy this music video from Eminem titled, We Made You.
Great post! I’ve heard that phrase before regarding other work colleagues and it always blows me away that a person can be so self focused to think they “made” anyone in their career. It is definitely an effort of me learning from my mistakes, and others as either overt examples or those I’ve observed.
So here’s the thing…
Some people are so anxious to sell themselves that they climb over everyone else along the way. And they don’t even realize the heads they are squishing. I am so sorry this happened, but apparently, I don’t need to be sorry that you overheard it.
I have heard statements like this multiple times over the last five years and you are right, nobody makes anyone else. It is and always has been survival of the fittest. And the fittest usually aren’t MADE by someone else.
And I am sure that whoever said this reads your stuff waiting for you to praise or thank them for making you. Thus, they probably won’t even recognize themselves in your post. I guess it s a good thing that at least one person learned from their erroneous words.
Personally Jessica, I don’t care WHO made you…I’m just grateful they did. You are an amazing woman of integrity and character and I have benefited personally from your unselfish nature and kindness. Don’t waste another minute thinking about that statement or any others you may hear. Those with half a brain know the truth and celebrate your success. I believe in Karma…
Thank you, Traci. The comment is much appreciated. I just hate that people say such things about anyone. It’s ridiculous really and just minimizes the amazing and awesome things that both people are doing.
JMM
I have recently learned that someone said that about me behind my back. At first I was angry too. Then I thought in my twisted It’s-a-wonderful-life-movie brain that this was actually a compliment because without me THAT person wouldn’t have the same life. Hopefully, I have been made by a lot of people who have influenced me and continue to do so today. The day I stop trying to make myself is the day I let all my self appointed mentors down.
“I taught Jessica everything she knows. I made her.”
Hey Jm2 — I’m a bit of a writer. Well, I dunno, maybe not. I’m not sure. Who said this? Because this narrative sounds like something out of a Disney movie.
1. Clueless evil villain.
2. Innocent victim.
3. Vengeance is yours!
Anonymity is for Deep Throat and Iranian spies. If someone is dumb enough to fall into this role and be a villain, I think they deserved to be called out.
Also, COME ON, we all know that there’s only one person who wears the papal ring and blesses careers in this industry… and I didn’t say this…
Just kidding.
Hi Laurie,
Thanks for the comment. I know it’s weird for me to write about the event anonymously without calling the person out. I’m just not a fan of individual public shaming. Brands I’m cool with but individual people that are in our very small space, I’m not there just yet.
JMM
I believe this website has some rattling good information for everyone :D. “Morality, like art, means a drawing a line someplace.” by Oscar Wilde.