How Pleasers & Leaders Can Work Together

At 37yrs. of age, I realized I was just a little “crazy”.  I had spent the better part of my youth assuming it was my responsibility to make sure everybody was happy.  Certainly, this attitude has its noteworthy parts.  However, at some point I realized I was an emotional mess!

The epiphany happened one day when I had 3 little boys waiting to lick a brownie-batter-bowl.  Aside from managing how to divvy up the goodness…I was completely unaware that there was a 4th boy – my husband!  Let’s just say, the situation didn’t end well.  We laugh about that infamous day now, but in the moment, it was very real for me.  I failed at producing happiness.


The Pleasers and The Leaders

Which one are you?  Are you trying to make sure everyone is happy with you at work?  Let’s get straight here – You don’t need drugs to manage your anxiety…you just need to stop thinking stupid!


…and having less anxiety on the J-O-B!

  1. Albert Ellis – Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) is the most widely practiced form of psychotherapy in the world.  Check it out!  It will set your crazy thinking straight!  My coaching practice is based in REBT.  I am available pro bono.  Call me.  We need to get America Back to Work – that’s my mission!
  2. Quotes – Not ready to take structured steps to change your thinking?  Check out these quotes and let them inspire your day.
  3. Bugs Bunny – Now, anybody over 40yrs. reading this should know Bugs Bunny and his troubles with the Tasmanian Devil.  Take notice of how Bugs handles pressure with grace.  Look at how he validates Tas and then offers a suggestion.  This works on the job – trust me!
  4. Aloe Blacc – Feeling down?  Lacking mojo?  Watch this video, let the beat move you, and take in the words of wisdom!   You da’ MAN!!
  5. It’s Not a Catastrophe – Dr. David B. Stein is one of the guru’s who trained me.  His profound words to negate my anxiety were – “Whatever did or did not happen is not a catastrophe!  A bridge falling on your head or 6 nuclear bombs going off IS!”

I don’t care if you’re the next CEO or an entry-level employee.  We all feel anxiety.  STOP LETTING IT CONTROL YOU!  Straighten out your crazy thinking.  Learn how to collaborate, work within relational systems, and accept that you can’t always get what you want!

Work Anxiety is a problem.  Are you going to add to the statistics??!

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Kathleen Mangiafico

Kathleen Mangiafico, ORSCC is a Relationship Specialist. She works with individuals and organizations on how to navigate through cultural and generational conflict. With a mix of corporate/non-profit experience and a 19 yr. culturally rich marriage (with 3 vivacious boys!), she has the expertise to shift your perspective from, "Who's doing what to whom?" to "What's trying to happen for the sake of YOUR business relationship?" Connect with Kathleen.

Reader Interactions


  1. Mary Wright says

    You found out early! It wasn’t until my kids were nearly grown that I realized I wasn’t anybody’s cruise director. Everyone must take responsibility for creating their own happiness and, boy, is that a lesson worth learning.


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