I love being a mother.  My daughter is the single best accomplishment of my life.  Ryleigh, who’s nearly 3 makes me feel alive, loved, and experience life in a way I never thought I would or could.  But there’s a side to motherhood and growing older, that I didn’t bargain for.  And that is the one certain thing in life is death.

This is evidenced every single day as I watch her grow and live and also watch others die.  This certainly has a way of creeping in as I see my first gray hair or the wrinkles become deeper on myself, my husband, and my mother.  And the thought sits at the back of my mind driving me to make decisions to live life, and love those that are most important to me.  I don’t think I’m any different than the average human being in this sense.  The thoughts and feelings we have I think are natural.  And I don’t have all the answers.  And it’s days like this that I am reminded because today I learned that I lost my grandma from this earth.

And so today more than others I am faced with the growing awareness and acknowledgement that life isn’t forever and that this day could very well be my last.  But instead of wallowing in fear and sadness, I am driven to make good choices, honest mistakes, and focus on living instead of worrying about the things for which I cannot control.

Facing My Own Mortality

Facing your own mortality doesn’t mean you’re giving up or giving in.  It means being true to yourself in the way in which only you know how.  And holding on to the persons, memories, and lessons that help guide you along the journey we call life.

This one’s for you, Grandma.